‘Do you believe in God?’ is a question most people do not find difficult to answer. That clearly does not include me. Most of the times, I simply take a shortcut and say ‘no’ dismissively, but that always makes me feel extremely uneasy. Almost guilty.
When I say I do not believe in God, I am referring to the cliché character invented by Christianity: that superior man who sits around in Heaven, judges our actions and forgives us for our sins. However, though I am not religious in the least, I consider myself a ‘believer’. I do believe in a ‘God’ that represents a greater force, the energy of the Universe, as opposed to a God we ask things from through prayer, or a God that teaches us to hate gay people. My ‘God’ is like a watchmaker who puts all of us on the path we are meant to walk.
I am not saying that human will does not determine our faith. If you are born into poverty, that is not the Universe’s plan for you: that is capitalism, a system created by men for men. But when it comes to uncontrollable factors, such as the people who come into our lives, I take a much more spiritual explanation. Everyone we cross paths with is meant to teach us something that will redirect our journey. Even those who come, hurt us and leave arrive for a reason: they are there to teach us the art of letting go.
I am not going to lie. It is not easy for me to assert that ‘everything happens for a reason’, or that ‘God knows best’ when war, poverty, rape and murder are everyday matters. I always find myself walking the tightrope between being observant of every horrible thing going on in the world and appreciating God’s Universe the way I think it was intended to be appreciated.
However, I believe underneath human greed, evil and selfishness lies an ignorance of this greater force. When it comes to me, whenever I hit rock bottom, it is precisely the convintion that God has a plan for me that keeps me going. Perhaps, if more people realised that there is something bigger than all of us; that being alive, today, in the immensity of this planet, which has room and resources to accommodate every living creature is more than a simple coincidence, they would not feel the need to destroy everything we were given. And that which we were given, that which is bigger than all of us; that is God to me.